By: J. Michael Fischer Jr.
Many people treat networking like a checklist item: show up to an event, shake a few hands, maybe send a follow-up email… and then wonder why nothing meaningful ever comes of it.
But here’s the truth: networking isn’t about transactions. It’s about transformation.
I’ve built my life — not just my business — through relationships. Real ones. The kind rooted in trust, consistency, and generosity. And I’ll tell you right now: if you want to build something that lasts, you don’t start with your pitch. You start with people.
The Three A’s of Networking: Access, Affinity, and Advocacy
Many people stop at the first layer of networking. But if you want to build something lasting — real opportunity, real deal flow, and real trust — you’ve got to understand how relationships evolve.
I call it the Three As: Access, Affinity, and Advocacy. Each stage has its place, but they’re not equal. And if you stay stuck at the first, you’ll miss out on everything that follows.
Access: Getting in the Room
This is the entry point. You go to the big events — conferences, galas, trade shows, large-scale networking sessions. You shake hands, exchange cards, maybe connect on LinkedIn.
You’re in the room, which matters. But it’s surface-level. No one’s advocating for you yet. At this point, you’re just another name tag. Access is important, but it’s not where the magic happens.
Affinity: Getting Known and Liked
This is where things start to get interesting. You move beyond the crowd and into smaller, more intentional settings — intimate dinners, curated groups, one-on-one coffee meetings.
Now people start to see who you really are. They begin to understand your values, your approach, and how you think. You’re building trust. You’re finding common ground. You’re not just showing up — you’re standing out.
This is the space I live in often. Whether it’s the MM Collective dinners I host or a quiet one-on-one with a founder, Affinity is where the foundation of real partnership gets built.
Advocacy: Getting in the Deal
This is the game-changer. Advocacy happens when you start working together. You’re on the same side of the table — helping each other close a deal, solve a problem, or serve a client.
When that goes well, something powerful happens: you start advocating for each other in the market. You share wins. You make introductions without being asked. You become part of each other’s ecosystem.
This is the highest level of networking. And the beautiful part? Once you hit this level with a few great people — and you keep showing up — the compound effect kicks in. That’s when the flywheel starts to spin.
Access gets you in the room. Affinity gets you remembered. Advocacy gets you results.
Stop Keeping Score
One of the biggest mindset shifts I had to make early in my career was letting go of the scoreboard. Stop keeping track of who owes you what. Give without expectation. Offer support when there’s nothing in it for you.
That kind of generosity? It builds trust faster than any elevator pitch ever could.
People remember who showed up for them, not just in the deal, but in the moments that mattered. And when you show up consistently, that reputation compounds.
From Networking to Net Worth
Let’s zoom out for a second. Networking isn’t just a business strategy — it’s a life strategy.
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-running studies on human happiness, found that strong relationships are the single biggest predictor of long-term well-being and success.
Let that sink in: it’s not money. Not titles. Not LinkedIn followers. It’s relationships.
That’s why I created the MM Collective — a private dinner series where operators, advisors, and entrepreneurs come together for conversations that go deeper than deal flow. I also host “Going Beyond the Deal,” a podcast where I sit down with founders and executives to unpack the relationships that have shaped their journeys.
Because when we talk about success, we should be talking about people.
How to Network Like It Matters
If you’re ready to build something real, start here:
- Be the First to Give. Make the intro. Send the thoughtful message. Share the resource. Give before you’re asked — and don’t keep score.
- Stay in Touch. Relationships are built over time. Check in. Follow up. Be present — even when there’s no immediate ROI.
- Know What You Stand For. People can’t refer you if they don’t understand you. Get crystal clear on who you help, how you help, and why it matters.
It’s Not Who You Know — It’s Who Trusts You
Anyone can collect business cards. The real question is: who’s willing to put their name next to yours?
If you want to build a legacy — not just a career — start by becoming the kind of person others want to build with.
Give first. Stay consistent. Craft a meaningful life — one relationship at a time.
Disclaimer This article provides general networking insights, strategies, and personal development tips but does not guarantee any specific outcomes or results. Individual experiences and results may vary. Always consult with a professional or advisor for personalized guidance.
