Ending a marriage comes with difficult decisions about finances, housing, parenting routines, and future planning. Even spouses who share similar goals may find that the volume of required information, paperwork, and negotiations can create problems that are hard to anticipate at the outset.

Divorce is not handled the same way in every part of the country. States use different terminology, impose different timelines, and apply different approaches to issues such as property division, parenting arrangements, and financial support. In many situations, an attorney can help by explaining the requirements under state laws, preparing necessary filings, and guiding discussions toward workable resolutions.

Identifying Grounds for Divorce

One of the first hurdles is understanding the steps required to start a divorce. Many states allow “no-fault” divorces, meaning neither spouse must prove the other’s wrongdoing. In those states, a common approach is to cite irreconcilable differences, meaning the relationship has broken down to the point that it cannot be repaired.

Some states also recognize fault-based grounds, which may include issues like adultery, cruelty, or abandonment. Even where fault grounds exist, not every spouse chooses to use them. Fault-based claims can require more detailed allegations and proof, which may increase conflict, extend the time needed to complete a divorce, and add expenses. Still, some people believe a fault-based filing will better reflect the history of the marriage, or that it could affect the outcome of a case.

Additionally, a number of states have mandatory waiting periods between filing and finalizing the divorce, and some require spouses to live separately for a certain period before a divorce will be granted. These requirements can feel frustrating for people who want to move forward quickly, but courts may view them as a way to slow down the process and encourage thoughtful decision-making. Learning whether a waiting period will apply can help spouses plan for interim arrangements, such as temporary support, parenting schedules, and handling ongoing bills.

Disputes About Marital and Separate Property

Property division is often the most complex part of divorce, because it is not just about “who gets what,” but also about what belongs in the marital pot in the first place. Generally speaking, marital property includes assets and debts acquired during a marriage, while separate property may include items owned before the marriage or received individually as a gift or inheritance. Unfortunately, not all assets fit neatly into either category.

A common problem is tracing assets. Tracing is the process of showing where an asset came from and how it changed over time. For example, if a spouse had savings before marriage and later used those funds as a down payment on a home, questions may arise about whether part of the home’s equity should be treated as separate property, marital property, or a combination. Documents such as bank statements, closing papers, and account histories can become critical when the parties disagree.

Commingled property is another common problem in asset division. Commingling occurs when separate property is mixed with marital property in a way that makes it hard to tell what is separate property and what is marital property. A typical example is depositing an inheritance into a joint bank account and then using that account for everyday expenses. When commingling is extensive, the separate portion may become difficult to identify, which can fuel disputes.

Retirement accounts, stock options, bonuses, and business interests can create additional hurdles because they may have components earned both before and during the marriage. Valuing a closely held business or professional practice can be especially contentious. Even debts can become a battleground, particularly when one spouse claims the other ran up credit card charges or took out loans without the other’s agreement.

Arguments Over Child Custody

When children are involved, custody disputes can become the most emotionally charged part of a divorce. Courts generally focus on the child’s best interests, but parents may have very different views of what that means. Some parents prefer equal parenting time, while others may believe a different arrangement will better fit a child’s age, school schedule, or special needs.

Custody is often discussed in two parts: legal custody (decision-making authority over major issues such as education and healthcare) and physical custody (where the child lives and how parenting time is divided). Disagreements can arise over either category. Even when parents agree on a general schedule, details like transportation, holiday rotations, school breaks, and how to handle last-minute changes can lead to ongoing conflict.

Practical concerns frequently drive these disputes. Work schedules, long commutes, a child’s extracurricular activities, and the distance between parents’ homes may all affect what is workable. Communication can be another pain point, especially if the relationship has deteriorated to the point where simple coordination feels impossible.

Parents may also disagree about relocation. If one parent wants to move to another city or state, the impact on parenting time can be significant, and many states have specific procedures for handling these situations. The result can be a high-stakes dispute where each parent may worry about losing meaningful time with their child.

Disagreements Regarding Spousal Support/Alimony

Spousal support, also known as alimony, can be a sensitive topic. Not every divorce involves alimony, but when it does, the amount and duration of support may be contested.

Disputes often stem from different views of the marriage itself. One spouse may see support as a bridge to help with job training or re-entering the workforce after years of focusing on the household. The other may view alimony as an open-ended obligation that feels out of proportion to their financial circumstances. When making decisions about spousal support, courts may consider factors such as the length of the marriage, the spouses’ incomes and earning capacity, and the standard of living during the marriage, but outcomes can vary widely.

Support issues can be especially complicated when income is irregular or hard to measure, such as when a spouse is self-employed, earns commissions, receives bonuses, or has seasonal income. Another common disagreement concerns voluntary underemployment, where one spouse claims the other is deliberately earning less than they could to reduce their support obligations. Even when the parties reach an agreement, they may struggle to decide whether support should be modifiable later if circumstances change.

Dealing With an Uncooperative Spouse

An uncooperative spouse can drag out an already-difficult divorce. For instance, a spouse might refuse to provide financial information, skip mediation sessions, fail to meet deadlines, disobey court orders, or just try to delay the process as much as possible. Sometimes, uncooperative behavior is driven by anger or fear. In other cases, it may be tied to control over money or parenting time.

Courts typically have procedures to address noncompliance, but using them can require time, documentation, and patience. Keeping organized records of communications, requests, and missed obligations can become important when cooperation breaks down. When one spouse will not engage in reasonable problem-solving, a divorce can become less about reaching an agreement and more about creating enforceable arrangements to reduce future conflict.

Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to serve as legal advice. Every divorce case is unique, and the details and outcomes of individual situations can vary significantly. For personalized legal guidance, you should consult with a licensed attorney specializing in family law in your jurisdiction.